Seconds after the announcement of the top 10, and again at the naming of the court, one question runs through the minds of every contestant BUT the queen, “What could I have done to get better results at this pageant?”
This is a perfectly normal response for a goal oriented person who wants to excel. A self critique can certainly be useful for future events if used in a constructive fashion.
There is one principle that participants of all pageants must accept: Judging is subjective. It is not based on fact but rather on the opinion of the person judging. People have different values, likes, dislikes, biases, and the list goes on. So, you could do everything perfect and it still may not be enough to win the crown because the queen is selected subjectively.
Let’s say you have a panel of five judges. Four of them love you and give you high scores. But for some reason, one judge doesn’t connect with you and scores you very low; it may cost you the crown when the scores are averaged out. This is a reality you need to mentally prepare for.
One person’s opinion DOES NOT determine your value as a person. It’s only their opinion. Because it’s impossible to get into the mind of another person, it’s a waste of your energy to try to figure out why they didn’t like you. Accept the fact that you have no control over another person’s thoughts or actions and move on.
I’ve seen a contestant receive the comment “too polished and rehearsed” from one judge; from another judge on the same panel “needs more work- not professional enough”; and from a third judge “don’t change a thing. Perfect.” I mean, really. Are they listening to and looking at the same person?
That’s opinions for you . Everyone has one and it’s subjective.
Now, let’s talk about some of the possible objective reasons that may have influenced your final placement.
- Interview– You need to continually work on your speaking and communications skills. Every day events happen to you that cause changes in your lives. From year to year, you’re a different person and this should be reflected in your interview skills. What worked for you last year may not work this year. Here are some possible areas of change that you’ll want to be aware of so you can adapt your interview skills.
- Aging Up a Division – If your age division last year was 7-9 and you were 9, you were one of the most mature girls in your group. This worked in your favor. However, this year you’re 10 and the span is ages 10-12, now you’re at the bottom of your group. The maturity level between a 10 year old and 12 year old can be huge in today’s world. The expectations are higher. With each age bracket change, the substance and quality of the communication skills needs to increase.
- Changing pageant systems – Each system has a slightly different focus and purpose of the interview. For example, if you’re used to a 40 second interview with each judge, it’s a whole different world interviewing for 5 minutes with a judge, or switching to a panel format.
- Different type of interview – Panel, one-on-one, on-stage and press style are all different types of interview styles you’ll encounter at a pageant. It’s important to know what type of interview it is and how long it will last. Many contestants have made the mistake of thinking they could just walk into a pageant interview, be themselves and talk normal. After all, how hard can talking be, right? Wrong.
- Walk – There are different walking styles for glitz, natural, and runway style pageants. If a contestant has done nothing but glitz pageants from ages 0-12, that bouncy, side-to-side glitz walk is not going to cut it if she decides to do a natural pageant. Or if you’re used to a natural walking style and enter a pageant where the walk is more fashion forward (more like runway) you’re not going to score as high.
- Personal Styling – Your hair, makeup and clothing all need to be appropriate for your age and the pageant system you’re participating in. I agree, it would be wonderful if we could use the same gown, swimsuit, interview outfit and casual wear outfit for every type of pageant we entered. However, that’s not always the case.
The bottom line is this, judging is totally subjective and outside of your control. One, and only one, contestant will have the title for the year. That means everyone else in the pageant will have to deal with their feelings after the pageant.
The only thing you have control of is your thoughts, feelings and actions. If you can walk away from the pageant knowing you’d presented your very best to the judges, and learned something new about yourself that will better your life, then you’ve won something more important than a crown from the pageant.
On a personal note, my grandpa’s funeral is today. He was 100 years old. Incredible to think of everything he experienced in the past 100 years- cars, TVs and computers. Give those close to you an extra squeeze and tell them you love them. 
Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach, an iPEC Certified Professional Coach, an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, and a member of the International Coach Federation. She created Winning Through Pageantry® to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation, achieve winning results in life through pageantry, and to Succeed From The Inside Out®. She has over 30 years experience in the pageantry world as a contestant, judge, emcee, staff member, mother of daughters who compete, Mrs. Ohio America 2005, and has held multiple titles at the local, state and national levels.
Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educate s their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website. For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com .
