Before becoming a full-time pageant coach, I enjoyed my years as a pageant contestant. The decades have been filled with the overwhelming joy of hearing my name called out as the titleholder many times; but the disappointment and depression of being a runner-up even more.
Wait, did I say depression? Oh yes, I did.
Few people will talk openly and honestly about this. They feel it’s poor sportsmanship or it may come across as sour grapes by the fact they didn’t win the crown. But I want to reassure you that it happens frequently and is a normal reaction.
For months leading up to the pageant, a pageant contestant will rearrange her schedule, move priorities around and spend precious time and money preparing for the big event. It’s natural to feel a bit depression when it’s all over and you didn’t come away with the crown. Personally, after Mrs. America, I ate nonstop for weeks following the pageant and didn’t work out for months. After watching everything that went into my mouth and working my body to the point of exhaustion, I needed a HUGE break.
The disappointment or depression didn’t last long with me because I had learned some strategies along the way that helped lessen the effects of this state of mind.
- Plan an event to do right after the pageant. This can be as big or as small as you want it to be; but it needs to be something that you enjoy and look forward to. Weeks before I left for nationals, I booked appearances for the very next week after nationals. I am so thankful that I did. It gave me something to look forward to when I got home and it reassured me that I was making a difference as Mrs. Ohio.
- Write down all the positive benefits you have received in preparing for the pageant. Start a positive thoughts journal when you begin your pageant preparation. Write down every discovery and positive thing that happens to you in the months leading up to the pageant. When you look back and see the tangible benefits you’ve experienced in preparing for the pageant, not receiving the crown THIS TIME AROUND doesn’t seem as bad.
- Keep a mementos box of your appearances. As soon as you receive a title, whether it’s a preliminary one leading up to the state or the state title, start making appearances ASAP. Take pictures, save the thank you cards you receive, and keep anything that reminds you of the fun and positive effects you are having with your title.
The reality of a pageant is that only one person will be selected to wear the crown for the year; but that doesn’t mean there’s only one winner. Give yourself permission to feel the disappointment and acknowledge your feelings. Then celebrate the advances you’ve made and reset your goal.
If you’re not getting the results you want on your own, perhaps it’s time to seek out a coach to help you get to where you want to be. I’d love to talk with you and help you create your winning plan. To schedule a 15 minute get acquainted call, email appointments@winningthroughpageantry.com.
Whether it’s graduation, a birthday, family reunion, or any other event that requires a great deal of planning, it’s normal to feel a little depressed when the activity is over. Be sure to schedule something just for yourself like a massage a couple days after the big event. Perhaps have someone take the kids for the afternoon so you can have some quiet alone time. Whatever it is, make it relaxing and something that you really enjoy so you have something to look forward to.
Question: What should I be doing one month before the pageant?
Answer: Your focus should be on maintaining your positive mental attitude (stop following the other contestants on FB), wrapping up loose end, and getting as much rest as you can before your pageant. No major changes or decisions should be left to the last month. Your entire wardrobe should be purchased and in your possession by now. The decisions of how you’re going to wear your hair and makeup for each category of competition should already be done, too. Start packing by laying out each of your complete outfits with everything that goes with it –shoes, jewelry, etc. Schedule all your tanning, hair, manicure and pedicure appointments. Keep up with your fitness routine, drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.
INTERVIEW CARD
The ability to answer questions about you, your purpose, current events, and controversial topics in a clear way is an important life skill that everyone can benefit from. The more you practice, the better you will get. These handy interview cards are a great way to practice with a partner or use by yourself to get you thinking about the topic.
The Beginning 10 Questions are the staple interview questions everyone must know the answers in an interview situation. Then each month you will receive a new card in the mail with fresh questions.
Now preparing for your interview is easy and for a limited time FREE.
Rhonda Shappert is an expert pageant coach and an iPEC trained personal development life coach. She created Winning Through Pageantry™, to partner with pageant contestants and their support people to provide complete pageant preparation and achieve winning results in life through pageantry. In the pageant world she has held multiple local, state and national titles. Rhonda graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelors degree in Musical Theater from The Ohio State University and has performed on stage in 15 countries on the Asian, European and American continents. This mother of three home educates their children and has been married 21 years to her husband Stephen, is the former mayor of her community, and serves on the Board of Trustees for the Ohio Virtual Academy. She and her husband perform original contemporary Christian music. Their music CD entitled Cana is available through www.cdbaby.com/cd/shappert or on her website . For more information on Rhonda, visit www.WinningThroughPageantry.com.
